[There's something about how Ren isn't reacting that makes Izuminokami feel even more embarrassed and knowing the answer to that question makes it all the more awkward.]
Ah...I'm Izuminokami Kanesada. [He almost opens his mouth to say his usual line but he doesn't want his former master to be roped into this. Not even he himself doesn't want to be roped into this.
The next question is a list and it reads as:] How often does he masturbate? 1. Never 2. Once per week 3. Once every day
Are you...ugh. Answer it and let's get this over with.
Oh, that's a long one... [Which means Ren will have to nickname him at some point, probably, since he seems like the kind of person who could maybe stand to take things a little less seriously. And that's always the main priority with who he nicknames.] I'm Suzugamori Ren, but just call me Ren.
[And thankfully he gets that out of the way before the new list comes up and he has to stop himself from laughing again. That's quite a question.]
Hmm, I think I might have an idea of what this one is... [If he still cries when he orgasms, presumably he doesn't do it that often, so Ren shrugs and goes for the "never" button. Once a week is a possibility, he supposes, but as far as he's concerned, going for "never" is funnier.]
Is Izuminokami that long? [The answer is yes, it is. He does have a nickname though only one person is really allowed to call him that and it isn't like he would ever share it. But nobody can blame somebody for giving him a nickname. His name is a long one.
Ren's choice gives off a correct signal and Izuminokami sighs. Honestly, it isn't too embarrassing but he doesn't want to focus on this.] How long do we have to do this?
Yes...? It's longer than my family name, and people already think that's long... [Okay, it's barely longer than Ren's family name, but still. Ren considers that plenty long enough, especially for a first name.
Almost as if on cue, at Izuminokami's question, at the same time the list of possible responses comes up for Ren to pick the appropriate one out to give to his partner, a little bubble saying "final question!" comes up on Izuminokami's screen.] Not much longer, I guess.
[Ren almost sounds disappointed (mostly that he can't tease his partner more), but he picks a response and the question goes over to Izuminokami's screen: What kind of gift would the other player most want from a romantic partner? A. A collar B. Handcuffs C. Chocolates
...One of these things is not really like the others, but Ren supposes you could probably do some interesting things with chocolates if you tried hard enough.]
[Ren tilts his head with an innocent sort of cant, leaning over - he knows what the question is already, obviously, but it looks like he's trying to figure out if it somehow changed between screens.]
Why not? You answered the last one... [He would've figured the last one came off more dirty, honestly, considering two of the answers here could be read as (relatively) innocent. Ren is currently wearing a collar of sorts, after all.]
[The last one was worse honestly but this one makes him feel weird. But there's only one answer he feels comfortable choosing and it's 'chocolate'. There is absolutely no way he is going to choose either other options.]
[Unfortunately for Izuminokami, that gets the buzz of an incorrect response, and Ren makes a chiding sort of click of the tongue.]
Hmm, I don't think you tried very hard at that one... [He mostly sounds kind of disappointed, but it does mean the game is over, and despite that incorrect answer and all the fussing...somehow their score comes out at 91%. Even Ren has the decency to pretend to look surprised despite the fact that he's played this with enough different partners by now to know that it's rigged.]
Oh, that's actually pretty good... [And good for his level of amusement at this entire situation, because a large hatch between the two of them promptly opens up and deposits a box. The top is open, and while the first thing visible in it is a box of chocolates, there's definitely some less wholesome things under it. Like the small and innocuous-looking bottle filled with something black that Ren pokes out of the box and wafts in the direction of Izuminokami without even looking at him, since he's still looking in the box.]
You probably need this more than I do... [Clearly the solution to crying orgasms is ink-flavoured lube, right.]
[He doesn't really care much that he got it wrong and he very sternly tries not to think about what Ren could actually really want. It's best to keep that line of thought out of his mind.
To Izuminokami's credit, he immediately knows what that is and scowls.] Do they actually expect us to use it? [Because ink flavored anything sounds like a horrible idea.
But then he glances up when it's passed to him and he immediately pushes it back to Ren.] No thanks. All yours.
I mean, probably, if they gave it to us, but I'm bad at dealing with people crying. [He shrugs, with an innocent sort of smile as if that wasn't just a pretty blatant poke at Izuminokami's...personal problems.
In any case, he tosses the little bottle back in the box.] I figured something like that would make things easier on you...I don't really need it right now...
[If it comes up, he'd prefer to have something a bit more appealing than ink. In any case, the offer is followed up by Ren poking around a few moments longer, and then finding the one thing in the box he has found no reasonable explanation for so far - the octopus headed condom.]
I don't really know what they expect anyone to do with this, though...
I don't cry! And if I cry, it's not because I'm—no! I'm not doing this. [This is embarrassing because if he does cry when he orgasms it definitely isn't because he was dumb enough to not be properly prepped or anything. He isn't an amateur.
But that still doesn't mean he wants to talk about this.
A chuckle does leave him when he sees that condom.]
What is that? Some weird type of ribbed condom? I don't even get those things.
You already admitted you cry, though... [If he wants to argue he doesn't cry over a specific circumstance, then he's free to, but Ren's absolutely going to remind him of the fact that he answered positive to that question.
At least the weird condom is a distraction from that topic, though, and Ren turns it over with a slight shrug.] It looks more like it's for someone's really weird fantasy to me, but maybe they thought everyone else likes octopi as much as they do.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Ah...I'm Izuminokami Kanesada. [He almost opens his mouth to say his usual line but he doesn't want his former master to be roped into this. Not even he himself doesn't want to be roped into this.
The next question is a list and it reads as:]
How often does he masturbate?
1. Never
2. Once per week
3. Once every day
Are you...ugh. Answer it and let's get this over with.
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[And thankfully he gets that out of the way before the new list comes up and he has to stop himself from laughing again. That's quite a question.]
Hmm, I think I might have an idea of what this one is... [If he still cries when he orgasms, presumably he doesn't do it that often, so Ren shrugs and goes for the "never" button. Once a week is a possibility, he supposes, but as far as he's concerned, going for "never" is funnier.]
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Ren's choice gives off a correct signal and Izuminokami sighs. Honestly, it isn't too embarrassing but he doesn't want to focus on this.] How long do we have to do this?
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Almost as if on cue, at Izuminokami's question, at the same time the list of possible responses comes up for Ren to pick the appropriate one out to give to his partner, a little bubble saying "final question!" comes up on Izuminokami's screen.] Not much longer, I guess.
[Ren almost sounds disappointed (mostly that he can't tease his partner more), but he picks a response and the question goes over to Izuminokami's screen: What kind of gift would the other player most want from a romantic partner?
A. A collar
B. Handcuffs
C. Chocolates
...One of these things is not really like the others, but Ren supposes you could probably do some interesting things with chocolates if you tried hard enough.]
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And then he gets that question and goes red.]
I. What? I can't answer this!
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Why not? You answered the last one... [He would've figured the last one came off more dirty, honestly, considering two of the answers here could be read as (relatively) innocent. Ren is currently wearing a collar of sorts, after all.]
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[The last one was worse honestly but this one makes him feel weird. But there's only one answer he feels comfortable choosing and it's 'chocolate'. There is absolutely no way he is going to choose either other options.]
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Hmm, I don't think you tried very hard at that one... [He mostly sounds kind of disappointed, but it does mean the game is over, and despite that incorrect answer and all the fussing...somehow their score comes out at 91%. Even Ren has the decency to pretend to look surprised despite the fact that he's played this with enough different partners by now to know that it's rigged.]
Oh, that's actually pretty good... [And good for his level of amusement at this entire situation, because a large hatch between the two of them promptly opens up and deposits a box. The top is open, and while the first thing visible in it is a box of chocolates, there's definitely some less wholesome things under it. Like the small and innocuous-looking bottle filled with something black that Ren pokes out of the box and wafts in the direction of Izuminokami without even looking at him, since he's still looking in the box.]
You probably need this more than I do... [Clearly the solution to crying orgasms is ink-flavoured lube, right.]
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To Izuminokami's credit, he immediately knows what that is and scowls.] Do they actually expect us to use it? [Because ink flavored anything sounds like a horrible idea.
But then he glances up when it's passed to him and he immediately pushes it back to Ren.] No thanks. All yours.
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In any case, he tosses the little bottle back in the box.] I figured something like that would make things easier on you...I don't really need it right now...
[If it comes up, he'd prefer to have something a bit more appealing than ink. In any case, the offer is followed up by Ren poking around a few moments longer, and then finding the one thing in the box he has found no reasonable explanation for so far - the octopus headed condom.]
I don't really know what they expect anyone to do with this, though...
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But that still doesn't mean he wants to talk about this.
A chuckle does leave him when he sees that condom.]
What is that? Some weird type of ribbed condom? I don't even get those things.
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At least the weird condom is a distraction from that topic, though, and Ren turns it over with a slight shrug.] It looks more like it's for someone's really weird fantasy to me, but maybe they thought everyone else likes octopi as much as they do.